When you ask one of those really awkward questions, they can't bring themselves to look you in the eye. Maybe if they look away long enough they'll sweat you right out of this fucking awkward situation you've just slammed on them. I didn't think skinny dipping was such a big deal but apparently I'm more repulsive than I thought. I give it a little while longer in the vain hope that she'll agree and I'll get to run naked into the filthy river and swim with her and the jellyfish.

Just before she's about to choke on the silence, I change the subject.

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She's sitting on my bed and gets the look, the I've got something interesting to tell you look. This one is guy related; I can tell by the way she's looking at me. I'm not sure I want to know. I act somewhat excited anyway knowing she can't tell that I'm feigning.

"I lost my virginity!"

I wait for my chest to tighten, nothing comes. I'm suprised by my lack of reaction because not three months ago I would have bled to death as my heart b-lined for the garbage disposal.

"To who?"

That gay wad self obssessed guy that doesnt give a shit about what you're saying and only cares about his latest venture. The guy that you like because you can't see through his bullshit. You never were very good at reading people.

I get a sick sense of pleasure from knowing you're going to get tossed aside because you never gave me the time of day. I smile a big fuck you I'm happy for you smile and ask her how it went. I don't give a shit but I pretend to care, sometimes it's hard being the listener.

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It's like jamming a giant "I LOVE YOU" sign in a Japanese woman's face. She doesn't fucking understand what you're saying and quite frankly, she's a little pissed off.

Some people are just blind to real love and attention. Big jaws and American accents seem to be more appealing.

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